Watching 30 Rock yesterday, I realized that I too shared a similar phobia as the lead actress. A mix of Anuptaphobia*, Autophobia** and ending with Thantophobia***.
Living alone can be extremely liberating and such a confidence booster to anyone, but after sometime you tend to want or even prefer having someone to share it with, someone to watch tv together and laugh together, cook together and maybe, if you're lucky, be your partner in life, and fall asleep together, wake up in the morning and do it all over again...
As I get closer to turning 30 myself, I find my thoughts ever wandering in the above direction and the reality that still eludes, stems the underlying fears mentioned to diffuse into my thoughts, my dreams even, causing me to lie awake in the darkness listening to the ever increasing sounds of the night, till I can't bear it no more and have to turn into my pillow and snap my mind back to the present and hopefully get some sleep.
Is there anyone one else out there, who lives alone, who shares my fear?
* Anuptaphobia - Fear of staying single.
** Autophobia - Fear of being alone or of oneself.
*** Thantophobia - Fear of death or dying.
7 human(s) commented:
I'm the last person to be offering comments on this subject. But If I was you, I'd enjoy my solo living as much as I could. Once you lose it, you'll never get it back and you're stuck with a lifetime of obligation and co-dependency. Right now you have the freedom to move and live as you please, no questions asked, no excuses given... You're not ALONE because you're in a committed relationship. But you don't have the 24/7 eyes on you. You call your own shots. Why would you want that taken away for good?
Hey anonymous, i get your point, but we (at least I) don't have a lifestyle like that we see in the movies, where hard partying and frisky lifestyle is just the norm. I live in a 3rd world country with society always watching, and pressures always asserting, and as age catches up, no matter how hard i may think i'll be young forever, I have to face the fact that i don't want to live and die alone.
So to answer your question, yes i love the freedom and not needing to answer a million questions, but it come time, i'd like to be able to do it with some too.
But thanks for the advice, and why are you the last person to be offering comments on this subject?
Are you really anonymous to me? :)
a) I should be the last to comment because i live on the other side of the fence. The one that longs for solo living and calling my own shots.
b) No I'm not. :)
Basically you always want what you don't have. When you're single your dying to be in a relationship.
When you're in a relationship... you wondering about the freedom you're missing, the times out with the guys and the like.
Not afraid of death, but yes on the other two. Not sure whether I'm afraid of being alone, but it may be how I end up.
Age catching up in this situ is a bitch really. Feel for ya.
lol i loved that episode. tina fey is my idol!
On your post, I agree with fox. The grass is always greener eh...I suppose if you wind up with the right person,"obligation" and "co-dependency" is not something you'll be 'stuck' to, but something you'd do out of love?
mm..perhaps i'm a little too young and inexperienced. :) But I am drawing inspiration from my parents so..umm..it's all good.
I suppose our culture is such that we have so much love around us at childhood, which is sometimes even stifling; that long periods of being alone is refreshing, but also a little lonesome.
I want 30rock 2nd season - the last few episodes and 3rd season! Help??
What you seem to be longing for is that picket fence and a gaggle of snotty children... It's so cute... Everyone deserves this, when you hit 30, stuff that made solo life tantalizing loses its glamour and you see it for its Facade... I'm suprised to see that 'anonymous' reveals that you are not in fact single... How can you feel alone when you are in a commited relationship with another person? Perhaps you need to re-evaluate how the one you are with can contribute to make your life feel more grounded and more secure...
I stumbled upon your blog through a series of tags... Its a pity I don't know who you are... or maybe its not :)
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