Mind-less Me

Been lately on a personal emotional rollercoaster. With no one really to understand me, it gets difficult to keep thinking about. Every time I’m alone I wonder what's going on, where my life's heading and who I’m supposed to be. I know I’ve got a supporting family, close friends, a fairly stable job and enough independence for a single guy in this country, but I still feel a bit empty.

Where's the gap that I need to bridge? Am I supposed to fill that void? How do I?

What has to change for me to be happy in this life? Where can I find this happiness I seek? I have so many questions right now its overwhelming. Feel quite alone. I'm constantly giving myself to everyone, but I don’t seem to find any personal satisfaction anymore? Fulfilled I am not. Have I run out of giving? Am I doing all this for the wrong reasons? Do I want loneliness to fill every crevice of this twisted head of mine?

My head is a generous mix of layers of thoughtful confusion. Sometimes I realise I do it to myself, like a depressive introvert abusing his body from within, with mindless over-obsessions and unnecessary sensitivities. Sometimes I feel like just driving, running away or screaming at myself.

Where have I gone wrong? Who is this person that’s taken over my body? Where is he taking it? What is he doing to my head? I don’t like him anymore.

Needless to say, life has to change. Or else I have this scary superstition that something bad is going to happen...